Too Late
by IAmTheUltimateGleek
Summary: Sometimes we never get a chance to fix our mistakes. Trigger Warning's inside! Not a happy story.


**If it is not clear yet I really love righting song fics and this is no different :P Plus When I was Your Man has been stuck inside my head for days and this helps :D**

**Reviews are loved and I OWN NOTHING! **

**Trigger Warning: Suicide and depression.**

The playing of the alarm clock awoke the disgruntled blonde as she helplessly tried to smash her fist against the loud device in anger. She hated being waken up in the morning when she knew it was just going to be another shitty day. She hated a lot of things now a days.

Quinn sat up in her bed like she had every morning with a sigh as she looked around the trash covered floor for where the still singing clock had fallen. Quickly standing from the cold bed's covers, the aged woman got onto her feet while trying to avoiding the countless amounts of clothes scattered everywhere.

She wanted to be out of that bed as quickly as possible. It always felt worse every night, and the blonde usually found herself loathing the thought of sleeping alone more and more as time went on. It was so different from how it use to be.

Finally accomplishing her mission of finding the blasted alarm, Quinn paused for only a moment as she took in the lyrics that threw her into a tailspin of flashbacks and pain.

_Can anybody find me_

_Somebody to love?_

Of course of all the days for the throwback to play, it would be today.

It was their song. It was the same song they would sing in Glee, the car, the apartment, everywhere. But instead of carrying a happy melodious ring that use to make the blonde smile, it only had a chipped ring that made her heart squeeze in pain.

The song had never been the same after they broke up.

The 37 year old blonde was sitting at the countertop of her well furnished New York apartment while she quietly munched on her toast with disinterest.

It just tasted like dust to her.

However the young woman was brought out of her 'attempt' of eating when the shrill singing of her phone sounded throughout the kitchen.

Quickly standing, the now stumbling woman reached her cell with hope in her usually dead eyes. But when she read the name 'Lopez' the spark was lost.

"Hi Britt" Every year it was the same call, the same person, the same question.

"Hi Quinn! Me and San haven't seen you in forever. I miss you...and san does too but she won't admit it. How are you?"

After so many years of staying in contact with each other, the former HBIC had to say she was at least a little touched that her two best friends still remembered the date. They called one another multiple times a week, but the other couple always made sure to watch Quinn carefully on this day.

In fact almost anybody who knew Quinn, made sure that she was always ok on this day. Calls, text, worried emails, that was all this day consisted of for the normally alone woman. But instead of feeling loved, the blonde just felt even sicker.

Every time they brought her up it made her heart feel like it was shattering all over again, like so many years ago.

"I'm ok Britt, and you can tell San that I am because I know she is sitting right by you right now trying to act like she doesn't want to know." Slightly smirking at the Spanish cursing she heard on the other line, Quinn said a few more reassuring words, before turning off her phone and letting a lone tear trail down her face.

After Quinn finished with her barely touched breakfast, she put on her bright red rain coat and trecked down her hallway to the elevator. As she checked her phone again though she saw a new message and sighed. San never could let her get through this day alone.

Sighing in defeat the blonde unlocked her phone, only to see that the message was from someone she hadn't seen in months. Of crouse they would text her today.

'Meet me at the coffee shop next to Madison Square. 2 sharp.'

It's not like she had anywhere else to be today.

Quickly stepping off into the beautiful lobby on the bottom floor, the blonde set off to hail down a taxi on the busy New York roads.

Even though it only took about ten minutes to reach the small shop it still felt like a lifetime for the awaiting blonde. Even if she wanted to be alone today, she still really wanted to see-

The clearing of a highly pitched voice behind her made the already on edge woman turn as she met the sight of the one and only Kurt Anderson.

Giving the well aged man a small smile, Quinn stood from her seat and brought the still taller man into a warm embrace and genuinely laughed with him as he squeaked into her ear with excitement. She really missed her friends.

After the two settled back into their seats, their carefree and light catching up talks were stopped when Kurt gave Quinn a very serious look.

He wasn't beating around the bush this time. Not today on the anniversary of the worst day of Quinn's life.

"Quinn it has been fifteen years...you need to talk about it please."

Only a few people knew that the well known best selling author of New York, Quinn Fabray, had severe depression. Even fewer people knew that it was one event that took place fifteen years ago that caused the blonde so much pain. The only person who didn't know about the blonde's agony and was the one person who should was Rachel.

"There is nothing to talk about Kurt. Im still on my medication. I haven't relapsed since last year. I'm fine." Lies. All lies.

The blonde was anything but fine, and she most certainly wasn't still on those damn crazy pills. She needed the sadness to live. It was the only thing that reminded her she was still alive.

"You didn't do anything wrong here Quinn. You were a perfect girlfriend to Rae. She loved you so much and she has always asked about how you were you know. She would love to at least see you again."

Almost the whole world knew of Rachel Barbra Weston. She had taken on Broadway at the age of 24 and had been preforming since. She was every girl's inspiration and every man's fantasy brought to life. But she was taken...

Two kids. At least that was what the newspaper read to Quinn. One 11 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. Both were the children of the Broadway dancer Brody Weston.

Rachel had found her job, her happiness, and her own family. She had moved on while Quinn simply fell apart

"I wouldn't want to bother her Kurt. She doesn't need to see me like this anyway." Out of all the glee kids who had stayed in touch only some knew about what had happened 5 years prior to this day...

_It had been close to the end of the day and Quinn hadn't answered one of the calls or text that had been sent to her all day. Santana and Brittany had gone to check the blonde's apartment only to find out that Quinn had attempted suicide by over dosing on a bottle of sleeping pills. _

_It was both the most terrifying and heartbreaking to everybody because none of them knew how much pain the blonde had been in after ten years of blaming herself for the duo's break up._

_After the story had been successfully covered up by Quinn's manager, the real struggle had begun. The entire club agreed to help Quinn as well as they could and had her set up for therapy, medication, and constant text/calls about her well being. _

_But they also agreed it would be best if Rachel never found out about the letter Quinn had left._

"Quinn, Rachel still would love to see you at least once, shouldn't she at least know about the incident?"

Kurt didn't believe for one moment that Quinn was still on her medication. And Tina had even called him months ago and told him that Quinn hadn't been to therapy in months. If anything the blonde looked worse then she had five years ago.

"It was my fault that she left Kurt...I was being selfish. I could have tried harder and now this is my punishment for letting her go."

Tears were now streaming down the young woman's face as she quietly whispered out the last part

"And I didn't even get the chance to fix it..."

The flamboyant young man didn't even get to say anything before Quinn was all but sprinting towards the door in a flash.

If Quinn hadn't hurried by so quickly though she might have noticed the sunglass covered/hooded figure that had been seated the next booth over from the two that was now walking up to Kurt with pain in their eyes.

The Blonde couldn't breathe. All the bad memories from so many years of nightmares were rushing back to her.

_Rachel was gone from her life...and it was her fault._

Miraculously the openly sobbing girl had made it back to her apartment unscaved, but it still wasn't enough to stop the voices.

_It was her fault. Rachel left because you weren't enough. You lost everything..._

She needed to do something.

Quickly running over to the window sill on the other side of the room, Quinn stopped mid step and ran back to her room. The blonde grabbed the slightly torn and crumpled up letter that she had written so many moons ago before returning to her last escape. This was it.

Stepping out onto the ledge of the window, the blonde shimmied out on the building's outer edge and moved as far from the window as she could which was in actuality only about a two feet away.

But it was enough...Now no one could stop her.

Even though it only felt like seconds, Quinn had soon heard the sirens and screams ricocheting off off the many streets below her. She was so high up, the blonde had kind of been hoping no one would have seen this was New York and word always traveled fast.

The clearing of a throat though next to her right side though almost made Quinn lose her balance as she saw a young looking police officer looking at her with worry and determination. They couldn't stop her now...

"Pretty high up here mam." Quinn actually chuckled a humorless laugh as she shook her head and looked down at the ground below. Even though there were countless people flooding the busy new york roads to get a look at the woman who was about to jump, there was still a perfect spot below for her to do it.

One step and it would be over.

"Miss you don't have to do this. Don't you have a family? Friends? There are probably a bunch of people who would beg you not to do this."

The blonde only hesitated a moment, but it was enough for the officer to see there was an opening. She just had to find it.

"Come on now mam. Someone? There has to be at least one person you want to see one last time."

Quinn thought about Rachel. Her friends and colleagues...she hoped they would understand.

"Can I ask you a favor?" The police officer looked surprised at the question but she nodded her head all the same. She could still get this poor woman to reconsider.

"Give this to Rachel Ber-Weston"

The officer looked some what stunned for a moment before asking.

"The Broadway star?"

"The one and only, just don't...don't say anything please just...give her the letter please."

Quinn felt the tiny slip of paper being gently pulled from her grasp before she gave off a final smile to the crowd below. Rachel needed to know she was sorry.

"You don't have to do this mam you-" The author waited not a moment more before her final step was taken and she began her plummet to the horrified screams and cries that were heard from the world below.

"Lucy can you get the door please?"

Rachel Weston was currently sitting at her large kitchen table with multiple sheets of music and scripts around her as she quietly read through her lines for the nineteenth time today. It never got easy, but she loved it all the same.

Soon the little dark haired carbon copy of Rachel was running back into the kitchen with a small letter in her hand.

"It was a police officer mommy. She looked like she was sad because she told me to give it to you then she ran away. It wasn't very polite" Lucy gave an adorable pout while handing her mother a small handwritten envelope that simply read 'Rachel'.

It looked torn and aged to say the least...but something about the handwriting looked so famil-

However before she could open the strange note the mother of two heard her husband calling her from the other room.

"Hey babe? What was the name of that girl you use to date again? The blonde?" Brody called out to his wife with slight hesitance as he rewinded the screen before him in shock. He really hoped it wasn't-

"Quinn dear! Quinn Fabray. Why?" As the now older star came into their large living room she froze mid step as she stared at the screen ahead of her.

It was a photo of Quinn from her latest novel called 'When You Lose Your Way'...Rachel would know. She had preordered the entire set the minute they became available.

The words seemed to reach the singer's ears, but they didn't reach her brain at all...

_'-It was around 2:50 this afternoon when Ms. Quinn Fabray, known for her best selling novels on the new york times, was seen by hundreds as she leapt from the 18__th__ story window of her apartment building. While police officer Laura Jenison tried to talk the poor woman down, she eventually jumped and was killed on contact as she hit the pavement below-"_

"Oh my god..." Rachel hadn't even realized that she was crying or that she had fallen onto the rug below. Brody was soon cradling the sobbing brunette as the report continued.

_"Life time friend of the woman, pop singer Santana Lopez, was on the site and had been restrained by six police officers due to her attempts of breaking through the police barrier during the tragic ordeal. We have her here now to talk, Mrs. Lopez?"_

Santana had aged well as far as here appearances went she looked the same. The only difference was that instead of her usually well styled and sexy clothing, she was wearing a heavily hooded trench coat and had large sunglasses on her head. It was clear she had been crying.

_"I had been on my way to visit Quinn, and I saw her inside of a little coffee shop by the park. I had gone to say hello, but she was talking to a good friend of mine about some personal stuff. I watched her leave and- and if-if I had just stopped her from-from leaving I- I'm sorry I have to-"_

_The latino let tears stream down her face as she quietly waved off the camera as if asking for a moment._

_"If we may Mrs. Lopez what were Ms. Fabray's personal issue's? What is it that caused the author that was loved by so many fans to-"_

_Suddenly the now fired up latina was spinning on a heel and was looking at the reporter with a look that sent shivers down the backs of every one in America who was watching._

_"NO you may not ask! The woman many people loved just committed suicide and all you care about is her personal life?! Well here is a news flash there is no personal life left to report! She is GONE AND MAYBE IF YOU PUTAS UNDERSTOOD THAT YOU COULD RESPECT THE SUFFERING WOMAN'S DEATH Adios-"_

_"_Mommy why is Aunt Tana on tv? She looks sad." Rachel couldn't even answer her now worried looking child as she let Brody's strong arms keep her from letting her entire body give out beneath her.

_The now re-restrained Latino was yelling in spanish at the camera as the reporter, while looking slightly ashamed continued._

_"We have also just received word that the deceased woman's final wish was that officer Jenison delivered a final letter-"_

The letter. It was from Quinn...she knew it too.

In a haste the now hiccuping brunette opened the letter with a rush as she read the context on the old parchment with Brody reading over her shoulder as well.

Tears filled both their eyes as they read, while their oldest child simply let a lone tear fall at her parent's upset state as she led her little brother upstairs.

_**'Dear Rach,**_

_**You know our five year anniversary is today right? You may not remember, but exactly five years ago I let the best thing in the world fall right through my fingertips and now I'm paying the price. I was selfish, and greedy, and I ruined everything for us. I never got the chance to fix anything. And I am so sorry for that Rachel.**_

_**I was wrong when we fought and now it's too late for me to apologize for my mistakes. But I hope Brody is treating you right. And your kids? They are perfect like you Rae. I just saw the new picture of little Noah and he looks just as wonderful as the first. You better believe I'm gonna be watching them both from wherever I end up. I will always love you Baby girl.**_

_**Yours Forever- Quinn.'**_

The whole world seemed to stop for the brunette as she reread the same words over and over again. She willed for everything to be a sick joke. For Quinn to be alive and for this old letter to be fake. But it was real.

This wasn't the first time Quinn had tried to end everything. The only difference was that this time...

This time she succeeded.


End file.
